Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The day I was Shot

I want to share with you a part of my journey in hopes it will provide courage and strength to continue on your spiritual path of healing.

On July 13, 1997 I was shot by a 45 caliber rifle.  The bullet entered my left side fracturing 2 ribs upon entry. The flight path was diagonal and spinning as the bullet was a richochet.   As the bullet continued along it's path of destruction, it missed my heart by one inch, punctured both lungs, stomach, diaphragm and lodged in my liver on the right side.

Sounds bad, right?  Well it was.  I was not expected to live but I did and am here to tell about it.  I was flown to Phoenix by helicopter after undergoing one surgery in Prescott to remove the bullet and stop the internal bleeding.  As they were loading me onto the helicopter, I over heard the medic saying I was not going to make it because the flight is not easy.  In order to keep me going during the flight they had to hand pump air into my lungs so I could breath.  In Phoenix I underwent another surgery to remove the packing and repair the damage.  A section of my liver was removed.  I had every form of life support attached to me.   The most excruciating part was when they removed the lung tubes and liver tubes.  I was sent home with a tube coming out of my liver to drain the fluids.

So now you are probably wondering how this happened?   It was about 8:00 am on a Sunday morning and I had gone for an early morning ride on my horse.  I had two dogs that always went with me.  They were great scouts along the trail.  As I was coming up my driveway, my dogs took a detour chasing a rabbit.  Instead of coming up the driveway with me, they cut across my arena onto the neighbor's property and were circling back up to my barn.  I dismounted and called to them.  They were running up the hill home.  As I was standing there calling them loudly, I witnessed my neighbor come out with a rifle, load it and then take aim at my dogs.  He fired one shot, panning as the dogs ran up to my barn, he fired a second shot.  I was hit.

Now let me tell you, it does not happen like in the movies.  It feels like you were just hit with about 50,000 pounds of air pressure that shot a hole internally through you.  It happens so fast it takes a few seconds for your mind to figure out what just happened to you.   When the bullet hit,  I was stunned for a few moments, thinking to myself, what was that and holding my side.  When I realized what had happened, I quickly thought that the bullet exited and had hit my horse.  I looked at my horse and he was fine.  I then put my hand on my heart and it was beating so rapidly I thought it was going to pound out my chest.  I told myself, stay calm, your heart is beating you have a chance to survive this.  I remember feeling as if someone placed their hand on my shoulder and a strong sense of calmness came over me.  Now I know it was an angel.

I quickly thought how am I going to get help.  My house was about 100 yards uphill from my barn.  The area I lived in was farm properties so they were all large acreage.  The homes were not close together.  I looked to the man who shot me and tried to flag him for help.  He turned and walked into his house.  He claims he did not know what happened.  My only hope was to try to get myself up to my house.  I didn't have a cell phone at that time.  I walked about 30 feet to the end of the fence line and realized I could not make it.

Although maybe only 5 minutes had passed, it seemed like an eternity.  At this point, my breathing had become very shallow and quick. Since my lungs were punctured, I could not yell for help. I barely could get a whisper out.   My only hope for survival was to pray.  I stood holding onto the fence and prayed for helped.  Within seconds, my youngest son who was 9 years old at the time came running.  Behind him trailed my husband.  I stood holding my side.  My husband asked me what happened.  He thought I was kicked by the horse.  I looked up at him and said "I have been shot, call 911".  I will never forget the look on his face.

He ran to the house to call for help.  My son Joseph stayed to help me.  I could no longer stand up, so I lowered myself to the ground . I asked Joseph to get me something for head as I was laying on gravel.  He ran and grabbed some leg wraps I use for the horses.  I thought this was very clever for a 9 year old.  He stood by my side while we waited for the ambulance to arrive.

Here is the miracle of why I am alive.  My prayer was answered. How it was answered is so fascinating.  My parents who happened to be visiting me from Maryland were staying in a hotel in town.  My mother who is extremely psychic said she heard a voice tell her "Call Pam Right NOW".   She called the house.  It was her phone call that woke up my husband and son.  When he hung up the phone he said he heard a 'death curdling scream'.  Now remember it was impossible for me to scream.  Spirit took my prayer and gave it voice, something that would move my husband so fast he didn't have to think twice.

While I was waiting for the ambulance I was slipping away.  I waited at the threshold to the other side.  I was asked then to make a decision.  If I crossed that threshold I was not coming back.  It was very easy to cross this threshold. It was a place of peace and serenity.  It was pure bliss and divine love.  As I started to cross over, I heard my son's voice. I opened my eyes and it was then I made the decision that my two sons would not grow up without their mother.  My oldest son, 12, had spent the night at a friends house.  For some reason Spirit sheltered him from witnessing this incident.

This experience for my youngest son Joseph gave him determination and drive to become a paramedic.  He is now an EMT for the City and County of Honolulu and will be going for his paramedic training next year.

This incident was traumatizing not only to myself, but to every member of my family and relatives.  My husband lost his job because he had to stay home to care for me. Our life as we knew it was shattered in a split second.

It has taken over 10 years for me to heal physically from this and be able to live an active life.  It has not been easy.  All of my healing was done holistically and still is.  During the healing I was visited by many spirit guides who assisted me with the process.  This type of trauma shatters the energetic systems.  The rebuilding is long and slow.

What happened to guy who shot me? Nothing!!  He was never arrested.  Never charged.   The legal process was disheartening.  The district attorney would not prosecute.  The state attorney would not prosecute.   The victims assistance program was unable to help due to the district attorney's refusal.  All the doors shut.

To this day, the man that shot me, has never apologized.  He never came to the hospital to see if I would survive. No sympathy card.  In fact, he claimed it was my fault that I got shot.  So how is that??  Did I step in front of his bullet?  I was standing on my own property minding my own business.

So there you have it.  I have told this part of my journey.  There is much more but the most important parts are written.  As for me, I have forgiven and moved on from this.  My horses were a big part of my healing and still are today.  I am active and healthy and to most people who know me or see me on a regular basis, they do not know what I have been through. I rarely share this story.


Unknown said...

I cannot read this story without remembering how thankful I am that my oldest friend is still here and is so amazing.

wingedwolf said...

Thank you my friend.